Everything in life adheres to logic. Every cause has an effect. If we want to lose weight, we stop eating sweets. If we want to get a pay raise, we work at perfecting our skills. If we’re after fresh experiences, we book a tour to somewhere exotic. So what do we do when we want our relationship to reach new levels of perfection?! That’s right — more often than not, we just sit and wait for it to happen. But why should we? Provided you’ve got the ability and determination, you can train yourself to be more loving and considerate. That’s right — you can work at strengthening your feelings just as you work at strengthening your body!
Today, Bright Side offers you a selection of exercises that will help you build a harmonious, long-lasting, and super happy relationship!
1. Rekindle your happiest memories.
We may not be aware of it but, as the time flies, we gradually lose our tenderness and consideration for each other. With each passing month we become less capable of understanding and forgiveness — the emotions that seemed so abundant at the start of the relationship. Well, it’s time to bring them back! Try to remember how it all began. Those happy memories will help you to see your significant other the same way as you used to, in the days when you were just falling in love!
2. Don’t forget to voice your desires.
The longer we are in a relationship, the more we tend to expect our partners to know everything about us, to anticipate our vaguest desires. Therefore, we often feel entitled to particular actions and responses from our loved ones before we even voice our needs. And then, if those responses fail to materialize, we begin to suspect our partners of being callous. In time, this can ruin the relationship. But such problems can be easily avoided by simply not forgetting to voice our needs in advance. Believe us — this really works!
3. Don’t ask: ’How did your day go?’
Whenever we ask this boring question, we’re likely to receive an equally boring response along the lines of: ’Fine, and yours?’ Such dialogue does nothing to bring us closer together. On the contrary: it can spoil your relationship by making it smack of routine. Try to think of something else to ask your loved one at the end of the day. Why not ask: ’Did you have an interesting day at work?’, ’Has anything made you laugh lately?’, ’Have you read the news today? Has anything caught your eye?’ You’ll be surprised at how much more lively and intimate your conversations will become!
4. Become experts on each other.
What do you really know about your loved one’s tastes, preferences, and hobbies? Do you know for sure (not merely suppose) what things can make your partner happy? Don’t hesitate to ask questions. Also, try to note your partner’s reactions to various events, situations, and pastimes. You’ll need this knowledge to make your special one happy.
5. Stay sexy.
For most people, the word ’sexiness’ tends to imply the goings-on in the bedroom. But what we’re talking about here is more to do with staying attractive and desirable in everyday situations. Perhaps your partner enjoys the way you sing while washing the dishes, but dislikes to see you wearing facial masks. Both you and your partner should try to observe the other’s reactions to the way you look and behave. Then take time to discuss what each of you sees as turn-ons. Amaze each other, amuse each other, inspire each other!
6. Be creative about going out together.
’Ten places to spend an unforgettable weekend’; ’Twenty ideas for awesomely romantic dates that won’t cost you a dime’ - you can find tons of helpful ideas online. Or, you can use your own imagination! A cosy night in with pizza and a good movie can wait. You can always have one after a great day of boating in the park and an amazing evening at a roller disco!
7. Keep problems at a distance.
Stresses of modern hectic lifestyles can overshadow even the happiest relationship. This is why you should take extra care to switch off your worries while spending time with your loved one. Try to really listen to what your partner is saying — don’t just pretend to pay attention! Learn to find pleasure in doing things together. Take genuine interest in your partner’s everyday life. You cannot barricade yourself from work-related problems, but you can find inner strength to deal with them on your own terms.
8. Learn to take time-outs from bickering.
When passions are running high and you’re ready to explode, tell yourself to stop before you pass the point of no return. Then offer your partner the opportunity to take a time-out. You can resume your argument in ten minutes’ time (later in the evening, next week, etc). A pause will help to lower the emotional tension and allow you to calmly find a solution.
9. Show your genuine feelings.
All too often, we only take care to demonstrate the ’upper level’ emotions such as approval or irritation. In other words, we tend to show our finalized reactions to something. However, it’s worth trying to make more use of the ’intermediate level’ emotions — the ones that allow your partner to trace the direction of your thoughts and feelings. Such emotions include both happiness/contentment and protest/disappointment/loneliness. These deeper-lying feelings are more likely to attract empathy.
10. Apologize with all your heart.
Apologies play a truly important part in a relationship, but they must come from your heart! When a situation demands it, you should be honest in admitting your mistake and explaining your plans for rectifying it. Remember — honesty is the key! Only the truth will enable your loved one to understand and forgive you fully!
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